Purposeful Authenticity
Rediscovering ourselves, so we can get the right stuff done, the right way
Written by Adam Grupp
As the Seattle weather turns toward crisp mornings and the occasional drizzle, it feels like a natural time to pause and reflect on the inventory of experiences and memories accumulated over the past few months. It's been a really good summer. In addition to joyful family time and some exciting growth on the Woodhaven team, I had the opportunity to design and lead a new leadership development program for a group of R&D leaders in the New York metro area. Working together over 4 months, we’ve explored essential topics in leadership, ranging from values and self-leadership, to conflict management, coaching and allyship. And in getting to know one other through candid, vulnerable discussion, we faced the discomfort of running out of places to hide – followed by a surge in energy when we found our authentic groove together.
I've seen this dynamic before as a team member, leader and outside facilitator. Smart, well-meaning people initially hold themselves back to avoid missteps that might draw criticism or limit their options. And with enough time and the right conditions, they begin to test the waters, and eventually begin to open up. While this doesn't always go smoothly, the win rate is high enough to keep playing. And for myself, I draw a lot of personal energy from the trust-building journey, whether I’m in the thick of it or cheering from the sidelines.
As trust-building exercises go, this summer's program has been no exception, but with more intensity than I usually find. Maybe it was the level of personal exposure -- I delivered this program solo, building it from scratch. Maybe it was the radical level of trust that the program sponsor placed in me; the program sponsor gave me pretty much carte blanche to do what I thought was best, the way I thought was best to do it. As we launched the program, my Inner Critic knew one thing for sure: If this didn't go well, I was going to be deeply disappointed -- and I wouldn't have anyone to blame but myself!
Spoiler alert: It didn't go badly at all; in fact, it's been a total blast. And contrary to my Inner Critic's assertion about sole responsibility, I can't claim credit for the win any more than I would have borne the blame for a lesser outcome. The real X-factor in this series has been the authentic engagement of our leadership cohort. I'm amazed by the courage each of them has shown, dropping their façades to get down to the real-real of what they *really* think, what they *really* care about, and what they're *really* willing to do about it.
Looking back, the win clearly goes to authenticity, which the team exhibited on multiple levels. Before my memory of the experience dims, I've sat down to summarize these levels of authenticity for future reference, and hopefully a deeper exploration. While intuitive, I think they're easy to overlook. Now here they are:
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A truly authentic sense of self depends on several considerations.
Self knowledge: knowing and core values, what we really want, and understanding how we want to show up facing others -- some people call this personal brand
Self management: doing the difficult work of grading our own homework -- and when we don't measure up to our own standards, changing our approach to close the gaps
Accepting ourselves, in context: tempering our own high standards with the reality that perfection is a trap, and that we can't keep trying again tomorrow if we're unable to forgive ourselves (not to mention others!) for today's imperfections
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Just as we hold space for ourselves, we must do the same for others in order to earn trust and build productive relationships. Two things stand out here.
Deep listening for values, intentions and actions. This is intensive and can be exhausting. Make a compassionate study of what makes people tick, their ambitions and how they take steps to realize them. Seek to really understand.
Acknowledgement. We all need to be seen, to be witnessed. This is how we show to others (and confirm the accuracy of) our deep listening.
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For me, the word “team” has always been as much a verb as it is a noun. Teaming is active and purposeful. To be authentic, four questions must be answered with clarity and conviction.
What do we really stand for? Why we choose to be here instead of someplace else, and what makes it important to us as individuals – not just because of our affiliation with the team.
What do we commit to doing? What we’re willing to do together, to action on the things we stand for.
How do we commit to doing it? This is our playbook, our checklist, our plan. It’s the sheet music and choreography that make up the masterpiece.
What do we expect from one another? This is as much what we need from others, as it is the things we commit to them. It’s the manifestation of our mutual interest in the team’s success.
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True growth can be uncomfortable, uncertain and messy. The measure of the growth is in the result, the output, and our remaining capacity to grow again tomorrow. This takes the following:
Practice humility. Receiving feedback is hard – but the receiver is the true power broker in a feedback exchange. Accept that we are finite, imperfect beings who don’t know it all, and can’t do it all. But we can learn, and others can help us.
Practice courage. Giving feedback can be a scary prospect—see previous point about receivers. And risking failure by trying something can seem like unnecessary exposure. Do it anyway.
·Take action. Don’t stop at navel-gazing—do something about it. If you’re unwilling or unable to do so, examine what’s really going on and what needs to happen to unblock you.
So that sums up my summer reflection on authenticity. Easy to talk about, harder to implement. But the rewards – for ourselves and our teams – are vast.
EXPLORE THE FIRST FACET OF AUTHENTICITY
If you’d like to explore the first facet of authenticity – our sense of self – you can join me for a half-day workshop on 9/27 called:
This workshop focuses on personal brand, values and articulating our career narrative, and like the summer leadership program, it’s going to be a blast! We still have a few spots available, and I’d love to see you there. Learn more and sign up here.